Less or More of Me?

So I gingerly got on the scale this morning, because I’d avoided it for about a month or two. 194.7. 9.2lbs up from my lowest weight so far. My heart dropped. I don’t feel like I’ve gained, and actually I’ve noticed areas that look smaller/more defined/etc, recently. But I know I haven’t been eating very well. I try during the day, then for dinner, and any time I’m out with friends or family, I eat whatever and however much I want. That is NOT the person I want to be any more. I want to be in control of my health and diet. I’ve been buying bags of m&ms and chex mix for snacks if I’m out and about. BAAAD. I do think some of this weight is bloat. I had a LOT of salty foods yesterday and heavy foods like pizza and cupcakes, and didn’t drink much water.

My goal was to hopefully get down to 165(my next goal weight.) by the time our annual rafting trip comes around in late August. That isn’t going to happen, but I’m still shooting for that. I have about 2 1/2 months. I feel like I could be at least 15 lbs down by then. Here we go! :)

DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY.